Women Don't Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide
by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever
Things have been so crazy and busy in my professional and personal life lately that I haven't blogged in a while. I don't really have the time to blog tonight either, but I wanted to just jot down some nuggets of wisdom I got from the book. I've been meaning to read this book for the past two years and am so glad I finally did! The following are quotes from the book. I think they speak for themselves. If they sound interesting to you, I encourage you to get the book and read it.
Women are more likely than men to perceive their fate to be influenced by internal rather than external factors
The message to little girls could not be clearer: being coy and indirect about what you want and waiting rather than asking is an effective strategy - more than that, it is the appropriate strategy, and superior to directly articulating your wants and wishes
For women who want to influence other people, research has found that being likeable is critically important - and that women's influence increases the more they are liked
Other studies have shown that men (and sometimes women) react negatively when women adopt styles or communication patterns expected of men, such as acting assertive and self-confident rather than tentative. But research also shows that women fare no better if they don't self-promote because men judge women who restrict themselves to more gender-appropriate behavior as less capable and "unsuited to management."
Women seeking to assert authority can mitigate the legitimacy problems they face by combining their assertive, highly competent behaviors with positive social "softeners"
When women go into a negotiation, in addition to arming themselves with information, ideas, and resolve, they must also bring along an arsenal of "friendly," nonthreatening social mannerisms; they must be prepared to be cooperative and interested in the needs of others; and they must avoid being confrontational
